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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30027198">two slow dancers, last ones out</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jabamis/pseuds/jabamis'>jabamis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Pre-Marley Arc (Shingeki no Kyojin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:33:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,521</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30027198</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jabamis/pseuds/jabamis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They made it to the ocean against all odds, so certainly he could achieve the simple goal of making Mikasa smile once more.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Eren's gone, and Mikasa and Armin try to find their balance without him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mikasa Ackerman &amp; Armin Arlert, Mikasa Ackerman &amp; Armin Arlert &amp; Eren Yeager</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>two slow dancers, last ones out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>title from two slow dancers by mitski, highly recommend</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Feet away, the ocean ebbs and flows, the water pushing and pulling almost in time to the soft, swaying beat reverberating throughout the streets. The players in the town square are putting their heart and soul into the sounds for a couple of coins dropped in front of them, but the coins weren’t what mattered. It reminded Armin slightly of home, where people would create rhythm out of pots and pans and the kids would crowd around. Sometimes, someone would even sing, and the women in the markets doing their shopping would find some change to spare to give them for their efforts. It brought the streets to life. In the Corps they would occasionally make music together as well— Sasha would pluck a banjo and Connie would sing exaggeratedly off-key, while Jean, who can carry a tune, only hummed softly along in the background, despite their insistence for him to put on a show.</p>
<p>What a beautiful show of solidarity it was to create music together, though the solidarity here is nothing but a farce with how divided the country was. People occasionally would dip their hats at them and pardon themselves when they walked through the streets, and Armin knew that if they knew who they were, they would be spat at as the generous outcome or far, far worse. Devils, they called them, but he thought that if they were truly devils, they wouldn’t be able to appreciate such saccharine moments, though they were getting harder to appreciate. The six on Levi’s squad were five now and furthermore, the three of them from Shiganshina were two, and the heaviness of the future made the notes sound flat whenever they tried to play like they had in the old days.</p>
<p>Beside him, Mikasa watches the sky. Though she is stoic to outsiders, Armin (and Eren) know that her emotion resides within her eyes where her face typically remains impassive. Shaded between dark lashes, the gray irises of her eyes have dulled— a far cry from the thunderous, dark appearance they take on when she’s angry, or the way they feel like the sun peeking through clouds when she’s happy or relaxed. To Armin, her appearance and demeanor feel akin to a thunderstorm that’s petered out, hanging onto the very last strains of rain. It’s startling for some of them to see one of their most formidable pillars so shaky, but Armin knows, he’s always known that Mikasa is just as human as the rest of them, perhaps even more so in some ways. And like any person, she mourns the loss of her family.</p>
<p>Truth be told, Armin feels gutted. Eren has been the constant in his life since he was a child, the one beacon of support he could rely on, whether it was someone to walk him to the doctors’ when the local bullies sprained his wrist or stay in bed with him the day after his parents died. That was, at least, until Mikasa, and then he had two people to hold his hand and pull him through, even when he felt ashamed for needing the help. Eren had introduced her to him that day with a vague, “She’s living with my family now,” and Armin had felt so shy and giddy at the prospect of having not one but <i>two</i> friends, but also anxious at the possibility of her disliking him and having to be friends with him by default. His fears were unfounded. She and Eren always were there when he was in need.</p>
<p>He has always felt that he was unable to repay that kindness. Time and time again, they rushed to his aid when he’d been cornered, and they had fought tooth and nail to save his life over the most important leader in Paradis’ history. And then, when he had the audacity to curse his existence, cursed his second chance and wished he had burnt away so completely that he was nothing but ashes, it was Mikasa who comforted him. With steady hands despite her own heavy heart, she pulled him through the thick of it, when food wouldn’t stay down and he couldn’t sleep for days at a time and did not judge him for his weakness throughout those months, that <i>year.</i></p>
<p>Yet, here he is now, unable to repay the favor. No amount of comfort he can give, even if it was his whole heart he tore out, would be able to mend the wounds inflicted upon her. He feels painfully useless, though he knows that Eren’s absence is something that not even the heavens could fix. While Armin does not doubt that Mikasa loves him dearly, that does not mean that he can patch up the hole that was left. There’s space in her heart for everyone, specifically for him and Eren, and Armin could not fill both of them. It was a simple fact of their existence— they had always been Eren and Mikasa and Armin. A very important key was missing, and now something was locked tight.</p>
<p>But years with the Scouts taught him to never give up on anything, despite how improbable it seemed. They made it to the ocean against all odds, so certainly he could achieve the simple goal of making Mikasa smile once more.</p>
<p>“C’mon,” he says softly, interlacing her fingers with his and pulling gently. Although her eyes widen, she follows without resistance almost limply.<br/>
“What are we doing?” she asks softly.<br/>
“We're going to dance,” he says, without any elaboration, just as they find a space in the plaza where they are free to move.</p>
<p>When he meets her eyes again, there’s a little more life in them again, barely-noticeable anxiety. With no time to waste, he lifts their conjoined hands to the side and softly grabs her other to settle it on his shoulder before setting his own between her shoulder blades.</p>
<p>“I can’t dance,” Mikasa warns.</p>
<p>“That’s fine,” Armin assures. Regardless of her poise, she is a soldier. She has dedicated her heart to protecting others— there is hardly any time in for grace on the battlefield where unnecessarily flashy movements can cost lives. He hadn’t expected she’d be any good. Frankly, he’s no good either, but that isn’t what it’s about. Despite how inadequate he feels to lead anything, he leads this, taking the first step.</p>
<p>It’s unsteady, of course. He doubts Mikasa has ever done a waltz in her life (Armin only has once or twice and specifically had with Sasha when they were drunk the night they first arrived in Marley, and he can’t remember it very well.) She’s also a few inches taller than him, a detail that most pairs of men and women don’t typically need to worry about. However, they eventually settle into a pattern, probably looking odd to all the outsiders around them— haven’t they always, though? People never seemed to understand him and Mikasa and Eren, their intertwined lives, their willingness to put it all on the line for one another. He focuses on the shape they’ve created, the swaying of their steps in time with the beat. Step, one, two. Step, one, two.</p>
<p>Eventually, they fumble, and Mikasa trips and steps on his foot. Armin yelps but it quickly dissolves into a laugh, breathy and unexpected. It’s then he realizes that he hasn’t smiled much recently either, much less laughed, for as focused he had been on the fact that Mikasa hadn’t. This is likely the first time in Eren’s absence that he has. Mikasa’s pale face tints red, but there’s a smile toying very slightly at the corners of her lips that wasn’t there before.</p>
<p>“One of the most talented soldiers we’ve ever had and yet, she can’t do a basic waltz,” he teases, voice light in jest. That’s when Mikasa finally laughs. It’s more like a series of quick exhales, but the smile gives her away, though it contradicts the tears in her eyes. She breaks their position, pulling her hand from Armin’s quickly and just as suddenly throws his arms around him, burying her face into the side of his neck. Where Armin’s hand is still on her back, he can feel the soft shaking of her shoulders— it was laughter, but now, she’s crying. Mikasa rarely allows herself to cry. Though it breaks his heart, he knows it's good that she's expressing herself in such a vulnerable way. He just settles his now-free hand on her back instead of saying anything while continuing their dance.</p>
<p>It’s even more awkward now with him leading all the movements, and though he's older now and has more experience, he's still weaker than the majority of soldiers in comparison. It's fine, though. Mikasa is allowed to be weak, if only for a moment. He can shoulder the weight of their world for the both of them for right now.</p>
<p>They're hardly dancing. It's just the two of them swaying gently, off-beat and unsteady. Just the two of them, now. That’s fine— they’ll be able to find their rhythm again somehow, someday, as a pair of dancers instead of three.</p>
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